new song im wrighting (dif. than the other one)

[nighmare]

hey guys and gals im wrighting a new song tell me what u b thinkin

hey do you see me hear
do u wach me walkin by
but i shure as hell see your stunnin blue eyes

dont leave me standin on a line
dont tell me another lie
do u see me hear
or am i just another
nobody to u
no body to u

brush the hair out of ur face
walk with a charming pace
u barely no my name
but i know yours
i say it and say it agin
it keeps replayin in my head

dont leave me standin on a line
dont tell me another lie
do u see me hear
or am i just another
nobody to u
no body to u

dont push me down!
if i screm and knowones around
would u hear me
or am i a nobody to u



tell me what u think
its about well i bet u can guess lol
my crush

rock on peeplz of da world


i realy could use some constructive critisism or input so pleese reply

[whirrs]

hey i like it! (:
only criticism: maybe you could use a spell check.

[nighmare]

thanks dude

anyone elts out there got some criticisem

[AnimalAvenger]

I like it, though in writing anything, you should use correct grammar. People may not want to read something with poor grammar.

Great job

[nighmare]

thanks guys sorry bout the spellin i was typeing fast

u guys are very helpful

[AnimalAvenger]

No problem.